10 Best Ways to Procrastinate Filing Your Taxes
The most difficult aspect of writing this piece was narrowing it down to just 10 ways to procrastinate filing your taxes.
Please let us know exactly which number on this list served as the turning point in your life.
Try to focus your thoughts on a thing, or a place, or an activity. Fishing, lint rollers, 2 for 1 pizza deals, reading Eric Stromer's bio... really anything will do.
Oh, it's important that one of the things you think about is not taxes.
You have a perfectly good couch that is collecting butt dust and is clearly not currently being decorated with a "No Girlz Allowed" sign. Get on that!
Siempre fi-nd yourself dreading taxes? Suit up!
What do you think? Boomer and John Lennon. Yeah, me neither.
But you know what Boomer didn't do? Taxes. And that, my friend, is a victory worth celebrating.
omigosh guys, I mean, c'mon white people, what's with all the yogurt? am I right?
Just kidding, play Mario Kart.
If you haven't done this already, you should be deeply ashamed of yourself. Like, cover your face with a black veil.
"Hey, nice to meet you! I'm Ampersandcarrot."
Wait in line, and when you get to the counter (stare at them until they stop being d-bags and talk to you, of course) and they ask, "What the eff do you want?" reply using the DMV acronym:
"Discovering My Vices."
or "Detecting Missile Vectors."
or "Dodging Mississippi Vikings."
Then say nothing else, walk away, go to the back of the line, and repeat the process.
Or, if YOU work at the IRS, wear a cup today. There's a chance someone may kick you in the noids.