10 Ways to Stay Sane During Your Summer Family Vacation — The Funnies
We’re in the middle of the dog days of summer. It keeps getting hotter, and the kids on your block keep getting louder. The looming family vacation is putting you on edge, but there are ways to keep it interesting.
Just because kids get to have some summer fun doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun of your own, too. You’re not too old to play a practical joke once in awhile, so here are 10 ways to keep you sane during your family vacation.
1. Choke on your continental brunch in order to nab a complementary night at the hotel.
2. Pay your hotel bill entirely in pennies.
3. On an exceptionally hot day, cover yourself in ice packs and only offer to give hugs to attractive people.
4. Ask the lifeguard for his credentials before you get into the water.
5. Borrow an ice cream truck for the day, and when kids come running up to get ice cream tell them you’re sold out.
6. Wear a wetsuit to the beach and ask strangers to put suntan lotion on your back.
7. Sit next to a stranger on a roller coaster. Just before the ride starts turn to them and say, “Man, I hope those nachos I had for lunch don’t come back to haunt me.”
8. Challenge your grandmother to a corn on the cob eating contest, then steal her dentures before it begins.
9. While camping, be sure to tell a ghost story by the fire. Later that night, jump on top of your son’s tent while making wild animal noises.
10. Fill your Super Soaker with hot sauce.