Patrick Bateman
Kentessa — Today’s SuicideGirl
We featured Kentessa back in early March — now the 20 year old production assistant from Dallas is back to let us know that she likes to be in charge, but also likes it when the man takes control. Since her fantasy is school-themed, we order her to come to our office IMMEDIATELY following class.
Pizza Cones Look Like a Deliciously Awful Idea
It’s official – this has been one of the hottest summers on record. That calls for ice cream all day every day. The best way to consume the tasty treat – and impress hippie chicks – is via cone. As long as you eat fast enough to avoid waste but slow enough to avoid brain freeze. So, it would make sense to apply that same shrewdness to other incredible edibles. Like pizza.
Connor Boss, Miss Florida USA Contestant, is Legally Blind
By now you’ve seen the blind dude who rattled off the best things about being blind – one of which was every girl is a “10.” Let us introduce you to a ’10′ who happens to be legally blind.
Shipwreck Suicide — Today’s SuicideGirl
Meet Shipwreck — a 20-year-old ‘hussy’ from the Windy City who’s into mustaches, Johnny Walker, and jokes about her service with GI Joe. After your ‘Rise of My Cobra’ line, you should expect full ‘Retaliation.’ Make sure you lose the ensuing fight – she loves being on top.
Who Is The Hot Girl in the Joe Mauer Head and Shoulders Commercial?
It’s no secret that Minnesota Twins backstop Joe Mauer is a hit with the ladies. Head and Shoulders would lead you to believe that it’s gotta be the hair.
Gary Oldman Dramatically Reads R. Kelly’s ‘Soulacoaster’
The golden shower giving Grammy winner R. Kelly released his autobiography titled, ‘Soulacoaster: The Diary of Me’ back in late June. Jimmy Kimmel got his hands on it and enlisted revered and lauded character actor Gary Oldman to perform a dramatic reading from the book.
Brazilian Soccer Team Requesting Blood From Fans
Sports is serious business – it generates a ton of revenue and fanfare. A team’s branding, color scheme or logo is sacred – followers hold it dearly. You mess with it and you’re bound to get crucified by legions of diehard loyalists. But a Brazilian soccer team is kicking caution to the wind by tweaking its look to help drive blood donations.
Jessica Barton — Babe of the Day
Jessica’s a 29-year-old model from Orlando, Florida who’s done work for Hot Import Nights, the NHRA, and DoubleD Race and Tuning.
Get Your Buttcrack Boob Shirts While They’re Hot
If you’re an ad agency struggling to come up with a campaign that motivates, stimulates, and instigates, just throw some boobs into the mix.
Tonee Walker, the ‘Buxom Bandit,’ Turns Her ‘Accomplices’ In
News of a busty burglar known as the ‘Buxom Bandit’ first broke July 2nd after a security camera caught the 22 year old blonde brandishing a knife and snatching money from the cashier with her bare hand, all while not wearing a mask. She recently turned herself into authorities, which means we now have a name to put to the funbags – Tonee Walker.
Dark Knight’s Commissioner Gordon Action Figure Is Eerily Real
Fans everywhere are chompin’ at the bit to see ‘The Dark Knight Rises’. When movie tickets go on “advanced sale” some 6 weeks before its release, the term “highly anticipated” just doesn’t do it justice. Fanboys are grabbing any and all merchandise tied to the flick, but even they have do a double take with Commissioner Gordon’s action figure.
Vana — Today’s SuicideGirl
Meet Vana — a 23-year-old Canadian artist who’d rather go naked than wear fur, and is into teasing. Okay. Nice cape, Vana! You owe us a shower curtain!