Phil Villarreal
Your Wait For a Purple Nintendo 3DS Is Nearly Over
Nintendo first tempted you with Cosmo Black and Aqua Blue 3DSs, but you didn’t budge. Then it trotted out Flame Red and Pearl Pink, and you just rolled your eyes. Now Nintendo has learned its lesson and has dreamed up the color that will weaken your knees and inspire you to part with that $170 you’ve been so stingy with.
Never Let Your Live-In Stripper Drive Your Mustang
If you’re rich and your girlfriend happens to be a stripper, it stands to reason that you impressed her by throwing your money around. Moderation is important in all aspects of life, though, especially when it comes to letting stripper girlfriends get behind expensive cars they can’t handle.
GameStop Wants To Get Its Paws On Your Android Gadgets
GameStop is starting to approach Bill Belichick levels of strange-sounding but ultimately savvy trades.
PS3 Players Finally Get Full ‘Mass Effect 3′ Multiplayer Lovin’
Being a PlayStation 3 owner who is obsessed with the Mass Effect series is a lot like being a lifelong Chicago Cubs fan who tortures himself by sitting through the World Series ever year. Not only did the original Mass Effect never hit the console, but Xbox 360 players have been getting a far superior version of Mass Effect 3′s multiplayer since the game came out in March.
Zynga Loses $85 Million; Is ‘SlumVille’ Next?
Zynga, the company responsible for cluttering your Facebook updates with nonsense having to do with FarmVille, CityVille, CastleVille and pretty much every other time-wasting thing that ends with “Ville,” is no longer bragging about raking in tons of money. Now it’s cringing as reports trickle in that the developer got shanked for an $85 million loss last quarter.
‘Call of Duty: Black Ops II’ Release Date Leaked
Gamers have been swapping rumors about Call of Duty’s next move like giggly high school girls do potential prom dates. Now they have something solid to grasp on to — not only a title but a release date. As expected, the game will be called Call of Duty: Black Ops II, and as most people kinda thought, it will be headed out a little before Thanksgiving.
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3DS Update Lets You Get Organized
There has been a metric poop ton of 3DS games and apps worth downloading, but the more you snatched up, the harder it became to access your stuff. The system’s aggravating interface lined up your games into a never-ending row of boxes, making it take forever to get to whatever you’re looking for. But, if you download the latest system update, you can finally reshape the menu.
NBA Baller Beats Game Comes With Its Own Basketball
If you thought Kinect Star Wars was weird and embarrassing, get a load of NBA Baller Beats. The Xbox 360 Kinect exclusive comes with its own basketball that you bounce in time to onscreen prompts.
Design Your Own ‘Portal 2′ Levels!
If you’ve romped your way through all the entirety of the deviously challenging Portal 2 and are hungry for more, there’s no sense in waiting around for Valve to make another game. Starting May 8, you’ll be able to deal with your Portal-ual frustration the same way you do your sexual frustration — by taking matters into your own hands.
‘Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective’ Mobile Game Review
The fact that a game is great on a DS doesn’t mean its iOS port will be as impressive, or even playable. Some people yearn for Nintendo-sanctioned Mario Kart or Metroid to come to mobile, but that prospect sickens us. Some games just require buttons. Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective, though, is on the opposite end of the spectrum. It plays as though it was built from the ground up for iStuff.
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Carmen Electra Wants You To Poker
Now that Carmen Electra is 40, she seems a little more attainable. Like, maybe, she’s got less going on than when she was in her prime and would be willing to play dirty games with us online.
Calvin Johnson is ‘Madden NFL 13′ Cover Boy — Pray For Him
Calvin Johnson did the impossible last season, racking up 1,681 yards, 16 touchdowns and the first playoff appearance for the Detroit Lions since leather helmets went out of style. His reward for those accomplishments is the devilish curse brought on by the Madden NFL cover. Ask Peyton Hillis how last year’s cover appearance worked out for him.