How To Survive Valentine’s Day 2013

For some, Valentine's Day is all about sucking you dry, both your money and your time, and your soul!  Don't let the hype suck you in this year, here's how to survive.

Rule Number One: You must get your wife/girlfriend/other woman something, anything!

• This holds true even if she tells you "I don't really want anything this year."  She's either blatantly lying or just testing you.
• So no matter what she says, you better get her something, at least chocolates and cheap carnations - SOMETHING!

Rule Number Two: If you buy her something, she will reward you.

• Whether that reward is physical, less nagging, less talking because she's shoving her face full of chocolate, either way, you will quickly see your return on investment.

Rule Number Three: Learn from past Valentine's Days.

• Think about it, what did you do last year and how did she react?
• If it was a good reaction, do it again.  She knows dudes are simple and will be thankful you cared enough that you tried.
• If she hated last year's gifts, DON'T REPEAT IT!  Simple.

Rule Number Four:  When it doubt, just buy her some expensive Jewelry

 See:

• Remember happy wife, happy life.

Rule Number Five:  If you do get lucky, at least remove your socks.

• During a very unscientific study, yesterday on Snakebook, most of the ladies cited that leaving your socks on while making sweet sweet lovin', just kills the mood:

• They also cited bad smell as a HUGE turn off
• And I cited baby talk is just creepy
• And now, please enjoy this video about bushiness socks:

In conclusion:  Valentine's Day does not have to be a soul, time and money sucking holiday.  It can be beautiful.  Just do something small and heartfelt and she will love it.  If she doesn't love it, then she's probably a spoiled brat, but you married it, so you're stuck with it.

When in doubt call Rosebud's Florist and for $19.99 you can get your sweetheart two roses in a red glass heart vase.  And make sure you enter to win her Rosebud's Florist's $250 Romance Prize Package.  She'll love it and you get rewarded too!