Man Meets Bear, Stupidly Feeds Bear, Wonders Why Bear Isn’t Impressed By Bottle Rockets

If you ever want a tutorial on exactly what you should never do if you run into a bear, I have it for you right here. This guy does everything completely wrong and lives to tell about it.

Where to start? You can tell right from the beginning that this guy has the wrong attitude about bears. He encounters one outside of his home and immediately goes outside to talk to the bear. NOTE: this normally doesn't work since bears aren't really conversationalists. Here's a timeline of this how-not-to-deal-with-bears lesson.

:43 - asks bear if he wants to take a nap.

:49 - calls bear "sweetie pie"

1:15 - whispers to himself "that's a bear"

1:55 - invites bear into house

2:05 - wonders out loud what it means when a bear lifts its mouth

2:30 - wife warns him there's a bear outside

3:30 - bear attacks empty bucket

4:40 - bear stands up, man tells bear "no"

5:26 - man announces he's going to try to scare bear with a bottle rocket

5:45 - man gets hit by bottle rocket, bear not impressed

6:56 - man incorrectly predicts that bear won't eat him

7:45 - man admits bear isn't listening to him

7:46 - wife tells man that he's not dangerous and the bear knows it

8:30 - man lights another bottle rocket and nearly lights his face on fire

8:55 - man laughs as bear runs across yard to neighbors house

So many things I could say. First, it's amazing this guy isn't extinct. Second, he's the worst neighbor ever.

If you read the National Park Service bear safety guidelines, you will notice the part about black bears. If they attack, don't play dead cause they plan on killing you. You can tell that this dude has no idea how fortunate he is. This black bear probably (correctly) decided that this guy wouldn't have tasted good anyway.