Millions of Legos Distraught Upon Hearing Only Some Things Are Awesome
Over 10 Million Lego Citizens today were heartbroken over reports that only some things are awesome. Things like catcalls, Dierks Bentley, and climate change unfortunately did not make the awesome list.
Still, researchers remain confident that at least 'everything' does still exist, regardless of its awesome,
and most are convinced that some things are actually, genuinely awesome. Chex Mix was a high contender on this list, though it ultimately lost out to the number one spot currently held by Ducktales reruns.
Lego Lady of the Night said in an interview, “This is the worst news I’ve heard in years. All this time, we were like, ‘omg, everything is so awesome.’ Then this Lego bomb gets dropped us and we’re all like, ‘omg, only some things are awesome? This effing blows.’”
Phil and Eugene Lego were deeply upset by the news, and have decided not to get gay married.
Shortly after, Phil attempted to throw his top hat off a Lego bridge before he realized it was attached to the cranial section of his skull.
Another couple, Samantha and Jimminy Lego, were unsure where their newborn, Emmalynn, fell on the awesome scale, though they take solace in knowing she can never grow old due to being surgically connected to her stroller.