Chris Illuminati

Kellie Pickler’s hair is gone y’all! Rootin tootin! Lord have mercy! Ain’t that a stitch! Whatever else southern folk would say when something crazy happens. Good god and Honey Boo Boo! We know that’s a real saying.

Sometimes, a fully-clothed woman hanging from her hotel room door can be the sexiest thing in the world. Let this picture of ‘Attack of the Show’ host Sara Jean Underwood act as proof.

Meet Glitch, a SuicideGirl who loves zombies, hates fake boobs and needs a good cuddle.

Leela, Turanga Leela to be specific, of Futurama is one foxy package delivery driver. The uno-eye look has never been so sexy.

Filling the shoes, and newly ample bosom, of former ESPN sideline reporter and peephole dancing dame Erin Andrews isn’t going to be an easy task. Andrews bolted the worldwide leader for a Fox Sports gig and the boys in Bristol quickly named her replacement — the longhorny Samantha Steele. She was with the Longhorn Network before ESPN. It was too terrible of a pun to pass up.

Who is Dave Hill? Good question. Such a good question that it’s the first question answered in his bio on his own website.

NBC gets its multicolored peacock feathers kicked in the ratings week after week. Even its morning juggernaut ‘The Today Show’ has lost some shine off Matt Lauer’s forever-balding dome. (Seriously, the dude has been losing hair since the late 90’s. It’s time to go Kevorkian on those last few follicles.) The once mighty broadcasting bird is banking big money on the summer games.

Before we begin, some rules and guidelines about the traits the mother in this joke shall not possess, only because of the overabundance of typical mom putdowns using these tired points of vilification toward the female parental unit.

Adam “MCA” Yauch, a member of the influential and legendary New York rap group the Beastie Boys passed away today at the age of 47. MCA leaves behind not only a nation of hardcore fans, but a legacy of music that will love on for generations.

This is what we hate about the world — remember years ago when someone had a god awful idea for a song, movie, novel, comic or career you could just go “that sounds awesome, you should totally do that!” but you really didn’t mean it you just wanted the person to shut up about their stupid idea? Yeah, now those people can totally go out and turn their dumb idea into a reality.