Dumb Bitches

Terrell Owens is making his own playoff run. Never mind that the wide receiver/former reality show star doesn’t play in the NFL anymore. He’s thisclose to going door-to-door to get America to pay attention to him. The locker room tumor that everyone loves to hate gave an exclusive interview to GQ for its February issue. In the mag ...

Rectum Nearly Killed Em!  Let's jump right in.  According to The Smoking Gun: A man arrested this week in North Carolina may have stashed a .38 barrel revolver in his rectum, according to police, who reported that the unloaded 10-inch weapon was not discovered until after the suspect had been booked into a cell in the county jail...

After a tumultuous period last year, Charlie Sheen hasn’t been in the news much lately. As the former ‘Two and a Half Men’ star explains, there’s a good reason for that. Apparently, he’s not crazy anymore.

A bank robber in London foiled his own robbery by handing the teller his own gun. The unidentified man entered the bank last October with a pair of sunglasses and a flat cap covering his head. He demanded 700,000 pounds from the teller while brandishing a firearm ...

Most unfortunate and unloved kids wake up on Christmas morning to find stockings filled with candy and small toys, but not lucky 7-year-old Poppy Burge. This little miss in the UK woke up to find a voucher for more than $10,000 worth of liposuction in her stocking.

Apparently everyone was in such a hurry to leave a Wells Fargo Bank in Sacramento, California for the New Year's weekend, that they kind of forgot something rather important…to lock the door. The bank was closed, and reports aren’t saying anything about anything missing, so I’m assuming nobody even knew...

Note to self: if you must counterfeit money, at least dummy-up bills that actually exist. That’s a memo 53-year-old Michael Anthony Fuller from Lexington, North Carolina apparently missed. Back in November, he walked into a local Walmart, picked up $476 in merchandise, and tried to pay for it with a fake million-dollar bill.

A Billings, Montana hospital denied a patient’s demand for prescription painkillers, so the patient did the only logical thing — he shot himself in the ankle.

A hot threesome with two beautiful women while everyone is under a drug-induced thrall is commonly cited as a male fantasy. Jerry Streng tried to live that dream, but quickly discovered the Sophomoric adage is true: all great plans won’t get you laid but they might get you screwed.

White girls. If you are on Facebook, there’s a good chance you are friends with a whole bunch of them. Mary (a white girl herself) has been studying the social media habits of her Caucasian sisters, and has published a list of ’15 of  Things White Girls Love To Do On Facebook’ on her blog Fibromy-Awesome.

If you find both lawyers and rappers offensive, Lawyer Mike is one-stop shopping.

File this in the “bad timing” section — ‘Two and a Half Men’ star Ashton Kutcher gives relationship advice in the new issue of Men’s Health, which hit newsstands this weekend. Talk about bad timing. Kutcher’s wife, actress Demi Moore, recently announced she’s divorcing him. Reasons why are unconfirmed at this point, but there are many rumors going around that Kutcher cheated on Moore with more tha