After five painfully long seasons, ‘Jersey Shore‘ will begin its sixth and final season this fall. Maybe it’s because Snooki had a baby and things are starting to get real. Maybe it’s because the ratings have started dropping and show no signs of stopping. Or maybe it’s because this show is terrible. Regardless, we thought we’d pay tribute by reminding you of some of the terrible commercials the show’s “stars” have done over the years. No matter if the subject is safe sex or diet pills, they are all awful.

The Situation Hits on Bristol Palin, Candie’s Foundation

Remember waaaay back in 2010 when Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino was on ‘Dancing with the Stars’? Remember when Bristol Palin was also on? Then you’ll remember the supremely awkward duo filming this abstinence PSA for the Candie’s Foundation. Play a fun drinking game and take a swig every time Sorrentino says “The Situation.” With any luck, you’ll be comatose by the time he starts talking about “getting into a situation with your situation.” (We’re 95% sure he’s talking about Bristol Palin’s lady business.)

Ronnie Keeps It Real For Xenadrine

Ronnie demonstrates how much he likes to “keep it real”…while dressed up like he’s at a generic movie premiere, standing in front of a green screen that just says “premiere.” Also of note is the amazing way he only makes like one gesture. Also, apparently he couldn’t remember his blocking so rather than moving around, the camera just zooms in and out to give him the appearance of moving. And there’s the look of a terrified child onstage for the first time in his usually vacant eyes. Top notch.

The Situation Gets Beaten With a Bat for Vitamin Water

The Situation literally let somebody pay him to beat him with a baseball bat. And not just anybody — Mets player David Wright, who was willing to be paid to pretend that The Situation is his trainer. That’s how much they love Vitamin Water. (Or money. Probably money.) Incidentally, nothing about this makes us ever want to drink Vitamin Water ever again. So maybe this wasn’t their most successful advertisement campaign.

DJ Pauly D Really, Really Hates Miracle Whip

It really says a lot about the quality of a man when a company hires you to say you hate their product. And also when you don’t even find that insulting and you just take the money. And that is exactly what Pauly D did. He stood on camera and said he can’t stand Miracle Whip, knowing that so many people think he’s awful that they just might start eating the stuff to avoid ever accidentally becoming his friend.

Sammi and Deena Take (Energy) Shots in the Bathroom

Sammi and Deena don’t want to go home yet — there are too many hot juiceheads in the club! Fortunately a couple of musclebound “Shot Fairies” show up to help them out. Not only are these girls going to take mystery drinks from guys (with wings) who apparently like to pop up in women’s restrooms for fun, they’re also planning on hooking up with them. Stacker 2 — for when you don’t want to sleep at night because you’ll have to face yourself in the morning.

Snookie Cracks Nuts

Boy if we weren’t hungry for pistachios before, we certainly are now. Did you know you can crack them in a tanning bed? That must be alluring to somebody out there. Granted, it’s supposed to be funny, but with Snooki’s acting, pretty much everything is terrible. We almost regret eating pistachio ice cream once three years ago, in case that somehow contributed to the existence of this. At the time it tasted so good. In hindsight it tastes like mistakes.

Snooki and Ronnie ‘Just Dance,’ Make ‘Duckfaces’

Such bad acting. Such bad dancing. It’s like being trapped in a middle school play, only the actors are getting paid a fortune to be talentless. It’s too bad there weren’t parts for trees that needed to be cast instead. But we have to give Snooki credit where it’s due — she has pretty much mastered the duckface. Not all people would take it as a compliment, but we’re pretty sure she would.

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