10 Christmas Gifts For Her That Are Sure to Ruin Your Marriage

"Ever since we first met, I've felt we needed more mystery in our marriage.  Now cover those gorgeous phalanges, beautiful."

"Dang, girl, you know what would look great next to those oreos in the kitchen?"

"Now you'll resemble a Wal-Mart shopper all the time!"

"I know how much you love it when I give you balls."

"Well, um..... because the other one I, you know........ when I, you know......"  (Alternatively, depending on one's habits, this gift may also be used to save your marriage)

"I'm so excited about the... wait, wait, you're NOT?!"

"Awwwwwwww yeah girl"

(It's all in the delivery on this one) "See, these are actually really great.  You pour the coffee right into it, and it holds it for you.  The handle on the side makes it super easy to hold and take sips!  You won't burn your hands or anything!  If you ever need a demonstration, it's a lot easier than it looks.  You've probably got it figured out, but let me know and I'd be glad to give you a full walkthrough."

"No, no, it's not what you think, sweetie.  See, this way it lets ME choose the ingredients I want, load it up, and that way it's all in one convenient spot when you're ready to assemble it!"

"I'm not sure if the one in the bathroom is getting an accurate read.  Love ya."