V-D Day is on Monday and I know some of you will be celebrating this weekend, which is fine as long are you celebrate.  Lets face it, she does expect you to get her something, even if it's small or inexpensive.  She wants something and flowers are relatively inexpensive and will ensure a HUGE return on investment...that night!  So since sometimes you need to fight crazy with crazy, here are five secret meanings (that she WILL know) behind 5 types of flowers:

#1.)  Yellow Tulips.

They mean you’re hopelessly in love with her, but you’re worried she’s not that into you.

#2.)  Orchids. They supposedly represent “refined beauty”, but “Marie Claire” also says they make you look pretentious.

#3.)  Pink Carnations. They represent “a mother’s love”, so they’re more appropriate for Mother’s Day than Valentine’s Day.

#4.)  Coriander. It’s actually an herb, but it’s used as filler in bouquets.  And according to “Marie Claire”, it represents “lust”.

#5.)  Peonies. They look kind of like carnations and represent “shame and bashfulness” . . . so your woman might think you’re having an affair.  (???)

Anyway . . . let’s thank “Marie Claire” for adding even more anxiety to a ‘holiday’ that already has enough.  And remember:  Buying ANY kind of flowers on Valentine’s Day is better than not buying them at all.

Or win your Valentine the Great White VIP Package!

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