Crime is statistically always up during the holidays, but Twin Falls appears to be having more than its share lately with several property vandalisms being reported in the past couple of weeks.

Tuesday night at least one car was broken into in a Twin Fall's neighborhood that is known for heavy, evening foot-traffic. The automobile that was targeted belongs to an 83-year-old Vietnam veteran, with an affinity for revenge, and sloppy joe sandwiches.

This theft hits particularly close to home...literally. The first reason being, it was my dad's Jeep that was broken into, and secondly, it happened in close proximity to my home. I would like the person responsible to know they awoke a giant. I'd use the term "sleeping giant," but my dad only averages about 17 minutes of actual sleep a night, and that's between episodes of "Longmire."

My father responded as I think any veteran of the Vietnam War would, by leaving a handwritten sign on his driver's side window, threatening an agonizing death to the individual responsible. I had to remove it personally because it reminded me of something the Zodiac Killer sent to Bay Area newspapers back in the 60s.

My pap moved to Twin Falls two months ago from California to be closer to his grandkids, but now has a new reason to stay, and that reason is to devour the soul of the person who stole $10 in quarters from his ashtray. His letter to the assailant was brief, to the point, and included the word "DEAD," in capital letters, and underlined three times, just in case his reader was unclear that inflicting death was indeed his inspiration for penning the note.

Now, here's the important stuff you need to know. The break-in happened Wednesday, likely between the hours of midnight and six o'clock in the morning, on North Buchanan Street. Approximately $250 in damage occurred, with several items taken from inside. The assailant used a sharp instrument to gain access through the plastic, driver's side window.

To the person responsible for this act, my dad would like you to know that he's watching (literally from the kitchen window for three to four hours a day), and he's here to do two things now--smother his grandchildren with affection, and track you down--and he's almost out of grandchildren.

All kidding aside, this break-in did happen, and it has been reported to the police. Please keep an eye out in your neighborhood and report anything suspicious to the Twin Falls Police Department.




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