In a swath of breaking news this week, the Obama Administration is releasing what democrats are calling "the biggest technological revolution since the wheel."  They claim that it will not only provide television service to the 49 million people currently without it, but everyone who likes their existing service provider will be able to keep it.

Below are the top features of the ObamaTV:

  • CRT technology for beefy protection from the elements
  • Child Obesity Fat Fighter (COFF) Dials instead of a remote or buttons - to encourage kids to walk to the television
  • Revolutionary picture-in-picture technology.  While this feature doesn't currently work, a team of experts is working round the clock to ensure that it is functional by 2015
  • A built in VHS player
  • Four, FOUR, different ways to acquire one: 1) easy on-location pickup service at the manufacturing plant in Taiwan, 2) a DIY map with part locations included, 3) Conversion kits for pre-existing televisions, 4) Phone-in service to a central office where ObamaTV is played 24/7 (audio only)
  • A simple 24-page application process which includes your viewing history
  • Power cords for certain qualifying families in the bottom 20% of earners
  • Bonus credits for small businesses whose present cable service doesn't currently provide the required daily showing of 16 and Pregnant
  • Complimentary rabbit ear antennae

So, what do you think?  Will YOU get one?

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