Secrets Your Waiter Will Never Tell You

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, here are some tips that will help you get ummm, lucky and NOT piss off your waiter(tress).

Valentine's Day is on a Monday, this year, but if celebrating the Friday or weekend before works for you, it will certainly work for your favorite restaurant.  Most places will be all lovey dovey and crap and be serving their Valentine's Day specials anyways.  If this is your plan here are some tips to save you some trouble:

Make reservations early. Restaurants usually don't have an abundance of tables for two. We need to time to plan where to put everyone. You'll get a better table and we'll be prepared.

Don't propose. It's so cliché. But if you do, warn us first. We'll put you in the corner. Nothing's worse than a crying woman in the center of the restaurant. Trust me.

So that should cover most of your Valentine's Day restaurant needs, now here's some other crap you should know about restaurants:

We’re not allowed to tell our customers we don’t like a dish. So if you ask your server how something is and she says, “It’s one of our most popular dishes,” chances are she doesn’t like it.  —Waitress at a well-known pizza chain.

If someone orders a frozen drink that’s annoying to make, I’ll say, “Oh, we’re out. Sorry!” when really I just don’t want to make it. But if you order water instead of another drink, suddenly we do have what you originally wanted because I don’t want to lose your drink on the bill. —Waitress at a casual Mexican restaurant in Manhattan.

We put sugar in our kids' meals so kids will like them more. Seriously. We even put extra sugar in the dough for the kids' pizzas.  -Waitress at a well-known pizza chain.

I think I'll order from the kids menu next time.  :-)  Happy V-D Day my friends and if you'd rather take your Valentine to a rock show, then go win the Great White VIP Package!

VIA Yahoo.com