Apocalypse Now: Idaho Bacon Shortage Possible
If you're a praying person, it's time to hit your knees. There is a report that Idaho may soon run short of one of life's great pleasures: bacon. May God help us all.
This tragic news was shared by 9News out of Denver. Dang Colorado people ruining all our fun. They reported that America's bacon reserve has hit the lowest point its been in 50 years. Wait! We have a bacon reserve? We're always the last to know.
Here are the cruel numbers 9News passed along:
In December 2016, frozen pork belly inventory totaled 17.8 million pounds, the lowest level since 1957, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture.
We simply can't allow this to happen. If you have a friend that's a pig farmer, buy him or her lunch. (just make sure it's not bacon, cause we need to save that for the rest of us)
If bacon supplies don't rebound, we'll have to resort to something that should never be done when it comes to bacon: rationing. (*SHUDDER*)
But, I have great news. The bacon shortage may actually be FAKE NEWS. New York Times for the win...unless they are fake news. In that case, we're all screwed.