When visiting Yellowstone, visitors are inundated with informative pamphlets and signs written in many different languages issuing warnings about safety in the park. There are many instructions on how to conduct oneself around wildlife and geothermal features.

And yet, there are many videos and photos documenting the stupidity of which humans are capable within our beloved national park. Wildlife and human interaction videos in Yellowstone are popular and exciting. The videos of geothermal tourons aren’t as titillating, so don’t get the same notoriety. Let’s shed light on this particular elusive type of stupid tourist.

Is There Hope for Humanity if Tourons Continue in Yellowstone?

Steam means something is hot. Hot is dangerous. Hot burns. Burns hurt and can kill. Yet, people insist upon ignoring all the signs. With 5 different hydrothermal features to fascinate idiocy, how can the touron resist? More people are injured or die due to thermal features than anything else in Yellowstone.

These people are why we can’t have simple lives anymore. How many commercials have you watched that have ‘do not attempt’ in them? There are toy commercials that say ‘not an actual living toy’. There was a car commercial that had the disclaimer ‘car does not actually drive under water’. Tourons are why we can’t explore new places alone anymore.

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I think that future beings will look upon our touron videos as historical evidence of how humans became extinct. Don’t let humanity go the way of the dinosaur. Resist the touron call. Humanity depends on you.

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